Savage Love Live stormed into Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. Comedian Corina Lucas definitely eliminated it prior to our sold-out crowd, singer-songwriter Elisabeth Pixley-Fink performed an remarkable set, and two charming couples contended in our very first (and most likely last) Mom Bird Cupcake Consuming Contest. I wasn’t able to get to all of the audience-submitted questions, so I’m going to power through as many as I can in this week’s column.
How do you deal with it if your partner continuously apologizes during sex? “Sorry, sorry, sorry…”
With sensitivity, tact, and empathy—and if none of that shit works, shot duct tape.
Should I continue to have casual sex with someone I’m in love with?
If it’s casual for them and not casual for you, and they’ve made it clear it will never be anything other than casual for them, you’re going to get harm—which I suspect you know. Now, if you believe the pain of going without sex with them will be greater than the discomfort you’ll feel when they undoubtedly satisfy someone else and relocation on, by all means keep fucking them. (Spoiler: the pain of the latter > the pain of the former.)
Best tricks for a fast female orgasm & how to keep yourself from overthinking it?
My female buddies swear by a little legal weed, where offered (or a little unlawful weed, where needed), and a great, big, powerful vibrator.
My five-year relationship ended quickly. Is there a time frame for getting over it?
Studies vary. Some have discovered it takes the average individual 11 weeks, some have actually discovered it takes half the length of the relationship itself, some have discovered it takes longer if it was a marriage that ended. However don’t wait till you’re totally over it to get out there—because getting out there can aid you get over it.
Besides a fiber-rich diet, what are your pointers for a rookie to anal play? Size is a BIG element and it’s creating a HUGE psychological block whenever anything goes near my hole.
Start little, e.g., lubed-up fingers and small toys. And wear’t graduate from tongues/fingers/toys to someone’s huge ol’ penis in a single session. Start little and stay small up until your hole’s dread at the thought of taking something HUGE is changed by a all the best held, quasi-religious belief in the outright requirement of taking something big.
What is the formula for getting comfortable farting in front of a partner?
Same as funny: disaster + time.
In the age of online dating, how do you browse the individuals who think the yard will always be greener and have difficulty devoting to truly structure a relationship?
The expression “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” has its roots in a Latin saying first translated into English in 1545—which means the belief precedes dating apps by, oh, approximately half a millennium. But the “paradox of choice,” or the idea that people have a tough time picking when provided with too numerous options, has certainly complicated contemporary dating. However too many options beats too couple of, in my viewpoint, and it certainly beats no options at all, e.g., deserted islands, compulsory heterosexuality, dissatisfied organized marital relationships, and so on
Any recommendations for a 22- year-old lady who meets just unfortunate kids who need a mommy?
Your handwriting is such that I thought you wrote “sub kids,” and I was going to respond, “Enjoy.” But then I reread your question: sad kids, not sub young boys. Okay, if you’re meeting only one type of person or all the individuals you’re meeting have a certain character defect, either you’re seeking that type of individual out—consciously or unconsciously—or you’re projecting your own shit onto that person. This is a case where the finest individuals to ask for a gut/reality check are your real buddies, not your friendly sex-advice columnist.
How good are cock rings? I tried a stretch rubber one, and it was simply uncomfortable. Is it worth more time and research study?
Cock rings are made from all sorts of different products, and it’s essential to find the product (rubber, metal, leather) and fit (snug however not too tight) that works for you. I certainly believe you ought to experiment a bit prior to giving up—cock rings are fantastic. And, hi, did you understand there’s a Wiki page with a lot of great details about dick rings? (Wikipedia. org/wiki/cock_ring.)
Will you be my sperm donor?
Well, that depends. Are you male, between the ages of 25 and 55, and (my completely subjective idea about what is) hot? Then sure!
My partner wants me to move in with him and have kids. He likewise desires an open relationship and to be able to daddy children for other females if they pick to be single mamas. I’m not comfortable with that. How can I express this without blocking him from getting what he desires?
By not moving in with him, by not having kids with him, and by not continuing to partner with him.
Why wasn’t semen created to stay in a lady’s vaginal area? It constantly makes a terrible mess. I hate waiting for it to leak out of me.
I wasn’t around when semen and vaginal areas were created—I’m old, but not that old—and I’m pretty sure they didn’t have a designer. I’m likewise guessing leak wasn’t a issue till our forefathers began walking upright about 4 million years earlier.
My mother-in-law had episodes of amnesia after orgasm in her 50 s. Have you heard of this? WILL IT HAPPEN TO ME?
I have not! I HAVE NO IDEA! I have also googled this for you, and—holy shit—it’s a thing and it has a name: short-term worldwide amnesia (TGA). Apparently, any kind of exhausting workout can trigger TGA. So wear’t fuck, put on’t run, put on’t bike! Simply sit still and you’ll be fine!
What do you think is the most needed focus of left advocacy in the United States today?
Most required: defeating Trump and combating climate modification. Many widespread: relitigating the 2016 Democratic main.
My mom surfaces every call with “God bless you.” I’m not a follower, however it’s not something we might ever talk about. I typically overlook it, in some cases I say it back, but it’s always uncomfortable. What must I do?
You ought to sneeze.
Thanks to everyone who came out to Savage Love Live in Portland! Savage Love Live is coming to Seattle, Denver, San Francisco (with Stormy Daniels!), Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis (also with Stormy Daniels!), Toronto, and Somerville. For more info and tickets, go to savagelovecast.com/events.